


and it feels like jealousy

by scintillate (darcie)



Category: Magisterium Series - Holly Black & Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 22:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darcie/pseuds/scintillate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron likes Call, and Call is going out with Celia, and of course, Tamara knows everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t so funny anymore.

Aaron had waited for Call to tell Celia that he just didn’t feel that way about her. Because that was the only thing that made sense, right? Call had been shocked when Celia kissed him, but it didn’t look like he liked it. Aaron had laughed at how funny Call looked, but he couldn’t ignore the twisting in his stomach.

Call didn’t talk about the kiss afterward. He avoided the subject, actually. But things changed for the rest of their copper year. Call spent even more time with Celia, their walks with Havoc even longer than usual. Sometimes Aaron would see them talking and Celia would reach out and touch Call in a familiar way, brushing his hair away from his eyes, or their hands touching.

One time Aaron saw Celia kiss Call on the cheek, and he turned away, his face burning. When he turned away, he found Tamara staring at him in a really weird way. But she gave him a sympathetic smile. Aaron tried to smile back, but he found that he couldn’t.

  


Over the summer, Aaron stayed at The Gables with Tamara again. Call was at home with his dad for most of it, but would arrive a few weeks before school was going to start. For once, Aaron was relieved that he wouldn’t have to see Call. Not seeing him kept him calm and made him briefly forget his weird hurt feelings about Call’s relationship with Celia.

One night, Tamara announced that Alastair was going to bring Call the following day. They were in Aaron’s room, the guest room really, and Aaron froze. Tamara watched him carefully.

“Aaron? Did you hear me? Call’s coming tomorrow-”   
  
“I heard.” Aaron said quickly. He suddenly couldn’t move or breathe. 

That was when Tamara approached him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Do you… want to talk about it? So that you’re okay?”

Aaron whirled around to face her. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?”

Tamara said very carefully, “Because you like Call.”

Aaron stared at her. “No, I don’t.”

Tamara crossed her arms. “Don’t, Aaron. Don’t lie to me. You like Call and you’re jealous that he’s going out with Celia. Which I totally get. But he’s our best friend, and you have to remember to act like that. I know it hurts seeing them, but Call counts on you. We all count on each other. You can’t let this get in the way.”   
  
Well, he didn’t know how to respond to that. Tamara clearly did not buy his claim that he didn’t like Call, and even though Aaron had questioned it himself for awhile, there was really no denying it anymore. He’d thought Call was cute from day one, when he tried to fail out of school before it even started.

Aaron had been able to hide it before. Even though he knew he was different, he could easily make people like him and ignore what was really going on underneath the surface. That he liked boys.   
  
People were a good distraction. And even though he hadn’t really wanted to be a Makar, that had been a good distraction too after he realized he liked Call. But then Call had offered to be his counterweight, and from there everything had been, well, chaos. 

He couldn’t ignore how perfectly they worked together, how Call calmed him when he did chaos magic. How he could counter Call’s chaos magic. It just worked. They worked. They made so much sense together. And suddenly Aaron liked Call more than he’d ever liked anyone.

“I’m not going to mess anything up.” Aaron told Tamara. “I’m here for him - for both of you - no matter what. No matter what my feelings are for Call. Who cares about those anyway?”

“Hey,” Tamara said softly. “I care. I just want everyone to be as safe as we can while we’re training to fight - and actually fighting - Master Joseph and those minions.”

“We will be.” Aaron replied, determined. “We definitely will be.”

  


Call and Havoc arrived the next day with Alastair, who seemed reluctant to make conversation with the other adults who had come to greet them. Masters and Assembly members had come, mostly to see Call, the new Makar. When Aaron finally spotted Call, he was in a crowd of adult mages, looking awkward and uncomfortable. The whole thing reminded Aaron of last summer when they’d surrounded _him_.

Aaron approached the crowd, and suddenly said, as loudly as he could,“Excuse me, I need to talk to Call. Official Makar business.”

Call looked relieved to see him. “Yeah,” he agreed. “We have stuff to talk over.” Before the adults could keep them there, Call pushed through the crowd and they managed to get away, up into the house. They didn’t stop until they reached Aaron’s guest room.

“Now I know what you went through last year.” Call said, catching his breath. He’d moved faster than he should due to his leg, but he’d really wanted to get away from that crowd. “How do you cope?”   
  
“You and Tamara.” Aaron said, smiling at him. Call hadn’t changed a bit since they had last seen each other. Most of his changing took place over the course of a school year. Since last year, Call had gotten taller, and he definitely looked a little older. He’d gotten cuter for sure. No wonder Celia liked him.

Nope. He wasn’t going to think about that.

“I guess we’ll just have to help each other cope.” Call said, looking at him. “I think you’re the only one who really gets it.”

Aaron nodded. “It’s not easy. But I have your back.”

They stood there for a moment in silence, and then Call asked, “How’s your summer so far?”

“It’s been okay,” Aaron said, gesturing to the large room they stood in. “I’ve got all this for a little while. And Tamara’s been great.”

Call’s eyes got just a little wider at Aaron’s last sentence, and Aaron wondered what was going through Call’s mind. Aaron had just meant that he’d been able to confide in Tamara, but of course he couldn’t say that, considering what he’d confided in her about.

“How’s _your_ summer been?” Aaron asked, changing the subject.

Call shrugged. “My dad’s been a little less weird about the magic school thing after what happened. He still doesn’t like Havoc that much, but he’s trying more. Celia keeps calling me. I don’t know.”

Aaron raised his eyebrows. “You don’t know?”

“Well, it’s whatever.” Call brushed it off so easily that Aaron wasn’t even sure what Call had been trying to say. “Come on. Let’s go find Tamara. She has to be here somewhere, right? It’s her house.”

“Yeah,” Aaron replied.

And again, the subject had been avoided.

  
  


The new school year started without much difficulty, but Master Rufus wanted to start classes practically the moment they all stepped foot into the Magisterium. Aaron suspected it was because he and Call were special, and Master Rufus wanted to make sure they got in as much training as possible over the course of the school year. And even though she wasn’t a Makar, Tamara joined them. She’d watch as Aaron would successfully take on some sort of magical Makar task. Call was usually… almost halfway successful. That was how he had started school at the Magisterium so no one was really surprised. But he got better over the course of a few months.

 They used each other as their counterweights more, even though the Assembly had been all up in arms about it since they’d decided. It was a terrible, awful risk. If something went wrong, they could lose two Makars at the same time. But Call refused to back down from being Aaron’s counterweight.

“You calm me down even when I’m not using chaos magic.” Call told Aaron one time after a lesson with Master Rufus. They were heading back to their rooms. “Like if I’m panicking about something.”

Aaron looked over at him and smiled. He wanted to say that Call did the same for him. In fact, he strongly suspected Call was the only one who had understood how much he didn’t like being a Makar on a more empathetic level, even before Call had been revealed as a Makar himself. Call had always gotten it, and that had steadied Aaron. It had made him less likely to snap at someone.

“Call!” Celia called. She waved over at them from at least a hundred feet away. 

Call’s head snapped up and over to her. He waved back tentatively. When he did, she ran over to him and grabbed his hand. Aaron stood there awkwardly, trying not to stare at their hands. They looked kind of… wrong together.

 _Stop it_ , Aaron told himself.

“Hi, Aaron,” Celia said cheerfully to him, but before Aaron could even reply, she turned to Call. “Want to go for a walk?”

Call was hesitant, and in that moment Aaron had some hope. “I… My leg is hurting today. I was just going to go back to my room.”

“Oh come on, some exercise will be good for it.” Celia pressed, her eyes pleading.

Aaron looked away from them. He saw Tamara and Jasper talking together a little ways away. Jasper was saying something with that smug face of his, but Tamara glanced at Aaron and saw who he was standing with. She gave him a sympathetic look and a nod. They would talk later.

“Yeah, okay.” Call told Celia. He looked a little annoyed, but disguised it quickly.

Aaron’s little bit of hope shattered. “Alright, you two have fun,” he said, trying make his voice sound stronger than he actually felt. He plastered on his big, fake charming-Aaron smile. “I’m just gonna go study.”

Call stared at him, which worried him. Call had been able to read him like a book whenever Aaron had shown any hesitance about being a Makar. Could he read Aaron’s face now? Call looked confused and a bit concerned, like maybe he thought Aaron wasn’t feeling well or something.

“Let’s go!” Celia announced. She started dragging Call away through the tunnel. As he followed Celia as fast as he could, Call turned back once and met Aaron’s eyes. Aaron looked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything became a distraction, but that was good. There was a lot of work to do, and Aaron didn’t mind throwing himself into it. Tests? No problem. Physical fitness evaluation? Sure, whatever.

But working with Call was something else entirely.

They stood together in front of Master Rufus, who had instructed Call to pull something out of the void. Something harmless that Aaron had already put into it. It was just a mouse. Call was having a hard time with it. Aaron stood next to him, his hand on Call’s arm. Aaron couldn’t feel any progress coming from Call, though he did have trouble when he was put on the spot like this.

“You okay?” Aaron whispered to him.

“I’m great.” Call replied sarcastically, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate again.

“Okay, Call, I’m going to have you try something different.” Rufus announced, walking up to them. Both Aaron and Call looked at Rufus, who seemed pensive. “I’m going to have you two face each other and then put your palms together. Just one hand each. None of this touching each other’s sleeves without any effort.”

They faced each other with ease. Aaron tried to give Call an encouraging look, but he knew Call’s nerves were overtaking him. Call was definitely frustrated with himself, being unable to do everything he should be able to do. But despite this, he raised a hand and held it up in front of Aaron. Aaron raised his own hand. Their hands met in the middle, Call’s slightly smaller one against his own. Call’s hand was warm and dry but familiar too, and Aaron tried not blush.

“Okay, repeat the process like this. Keep your eyes focused on Aaron, Call. Aaron, keep him grounded.” Rufus said from somewhere in the background.

Rufus might as well have not been in the room. This time, Aaron could feel magic in the air as soon as their eyes met. He didn’t even have enough time to feel self-conscious before everything around them disappeared. Aaron felt the pull within him, the one that Call must have felt as his counterweight before.

“What is this?” Aaron asked, keeping his voice steady. His eyes didn’t leave Call’s face, but he could see differences out of the corner of his eye. The room had become a different color, and there was some sort of weird mist behind Call.

“I don’t know.” Call replied. “I..”

They couldn’t break eye contact. They wouldn’t break eye contact. Despite not knowing what had happened to the room, Aaron didn’t want to stop this. “You can do more than you think,” he told Call. Before, when Call had revealed his soul was the Enemy’s and he’d become a Makar, Aaron had been a little afraid of Call despite his annoying little crush. But now? He thought Call was amazing.

Call looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he just stood there with a ridiculous expression on his face. Aaron decided to take a risk as they stood there. He began to curl his fingers around Call’s so that they were holding hands a little instead of their hands just being against each other. And amazingly, Call didn’t fight it. He let Aaron do it.

It seemed as if his eyes were searching Aaron’s for something. He said tentatively, “Aaron…”

And then there was a squeak.

Call broke his eye contact then. “The mouse.”

Aaron looked down too, and sure enough it was there at their feet. It wasn’t running around; it just stood there staring up at them. Call bent down and scooped it up with one hand.

Then Call untangled his hand from Aaron’s. That broke the connection and suddenly they were back in the regular room. As soon as they were, Master Rufus rushed up to them. “You two disappeared.”

“We found the mouse.” Call replied, holding up the small, white creature. It squeaked again. He handed the mouse to Master Rufus.

“Aaron sent that mouse into the void.” Master Rufus. “Are you telling me that you two disappeared into the void and got that mouse?”

“It didn’t seem like it would be the void.” Aaron told Master Rufus. “It was more peaceful than that. Like some sort of in-between or something.”

Call nodded in agreement. “Maybe Aaron disappeared the mouse wrong.”

“I didn’t.” Aaron replied immediately. He looked at Master Rufus. “Did I?”

“I don’t know.” Rufus told him. “All I know is that you two are entirely too powerful together. It’s possible that you being each other’s counterweights could be even more dangerous than the original Makar-counterweight connection.”

Aaron felt Call’s eyes on him, but he didn’t turn toward his friend. It was true. Something had happened to them that wasn’t meant to happen. Two Makars shouldn’t be each other’s counterweights, should they? He frowned, suddenly feeling horrible about it. Even when he’d found out Call was the Enemy, he hadn’t want to give up Call as a counterweight. He knew it was partially because he liked Call, but it was also because Call being his counterweight made sense. He’d gotten used to the idea. And Call had seemed so disappointed when Aaron questioned it.

“But it could be perfect because we are that powerful together.” Call told Rufus. “With the right training, we could take on any jerk, any evil overlord, anyone bad and win. Right?”

“You could also destroy each other, Callum.” Rufus replied, keeping his voice calm.

Aaron did look at Call then. He been so eager to keep things the way they were. And somehow Aaron knew it had nothing to do with Call being Constantine Madden. It was because they would be separated.

  
  
  


“He’s probably right.” Call said as they sat in their common room after their session with Rufus. Tamara was still off somewhere, probably studying. “I don’t want to not be your counterweight, but if me not being it saves your life…”

Aaron had been trying to outline an essay about mages in the 19th century, but he stopped writing and looked up. “And if it saves your life…”

“Do you know what that thing was?” Call asked, sounding kind of tentative and awkward. “The not-void, not-here thing?”   
  
“No.” Aaron said. “It could be something we created? We were both using the same magic. Maybe that’s why we’re not meant to. We can send something or someone to a kind of in-between limbo.”

Aaron didn’t want to bring up anything else that had happened when they’d created that magic together. How they’d stared at each other, how Call had looked at Aaron in a way that gave him hope that his crush might be a mutual thing. They hadn’t just had their hands up against each other - they’d actually held hands. And Call hadn’t broken the connection, even when Aaron had taken that risk.

“What do we do, hold tryouts for new counterweights?” Call asked slightly jokingly. “I think people will be more willing to be your counterweight now, but mine? I’m still awful at this stuff. And you know Jasper will remind everyone that I got the worst score at the iron trial.”

Aaron laughed bitterly. “This sucks. You’re such a good counterweight.”

That made Call smile, and though Aaron wouldn’t swear to it, he thought he saw the slightest bit of red in Call’s cheeks.


	3. Chapter 3

Call and Aaron both did what Rufus suggested, finding other counterweights. Fortunately, Tamara was willing to work with Aaron, while Celia eagerly volunteered to be Call’s counterweight. Because of this, they began to work in their separate pairs.

Even though Aaron cared about Tamara, he also hated the new arrangement. But as time passed, he got used to it. Tamara did her job perfectly and efficiently, grounding Aaron whenever they worked with Master Rufus.

Still, whenever he thought of Call working with Celia, he felt a horrible resentment toward her, even though she’d never been anything but nice to him.

The months wore on and soon it was summer again. Tamara’s family had already invited him to stay again, which looked like it was going to become tradition. But this time would be different. This time, Call and Havoc would be staying the summer as well, with Alastair visiting a few days at a time. Call had explained to them that while he’d learned to trust his dad again, them living together these days was just a disaster. Last summer they’d gotten into arguments upon arguments. Not about anything dangerous, but just regular teenage stuff.

Though Tamara’s parents weren’t perfect either, as they all remembered from two summers ago. They had practically forced Kimiya and Alex to break up. They were sort of uptight and strict and now that Tamara was getting older, her parents told her that she wasn’t to go to either Call’s room or Aaron’s, and likewise Call and Aaron weren’t to visit Tamara’s room. Aaron had a good laugh over that.

Part of the deal of staying with the Rajavis was that Call and Aaron still had to schmooze with the older mages and discuss the progress they had made as Makaris. One evening toward the end of the summer, a middle-aged mage had Aaron cornered, which always seemed to happen.

“And how is Master Rufus?” the mage asked curiously. “I hear he’s the best, and I never had the pleasure of being his student.”

“Yeah, he’s okay.” Aaron replied. He looked past the mage at Call, who was trapped in a similar situation. He caught Call’s eyes, and Call smirked. Aaron stared back, unable to deal with how adorable Call was. It had gotten worse throughout the summer. They were definitely getting older, and nowadays it was difficult for Aaron to be around Call without making a fool of himself. He tried really hard most of the time.

“I heard that-”

“Excuse me.” Aaron said, giving the mage an apologetic smile. Call had just stepped away from his captor as well, motioning for Aaron to follow him.

Aaron did so, following Call until they were far away from the crowd. There was a garden on the property of the Gables, one with huge plants that could cover them.

When they stopped walking, Call sighed and sat down in the grass. “KMS.”

Aaron stood there, confused. “KMS? What’s that?”

Call took out his phone, opened something on the screen, and then showed it to Aaron. It was a text from Celia: ‘ _OMG my family is sooooooo annoying rn kms. what are u doing?? <3 <3_’

“Oh.” Aaron sat down in the grass next to Call. He got it now. “Yeah, it’s a lot. But at least we go back to school soon. And we went a whole year without any sort of big disaster.”

“Which means there will be an even bigger disaster this year.” Call reasoned. Despite that, he smiled. “Nothing we can’t handle though.”

“Of course. Obviously.” Aaron replied. “Are… uh, you looking forward to seeing Celia again?” Their relationship had lasted longer that Aaron had expected it to. It had been over a year now, though Call hardly talked about Celia.

“I guess.” Call said, getting quiet. Then he asked, “What about you and Tamara?”

“What do you mean, me and Tamara?” Aaron frowned.

“Well, obviously you guys are going out or going to go out. Not that you’ve told me or anything. Even though we all agreed we wouldn’t lie to each other anymore…” Call looked right at Aaron now. “So what’s going on there?”

“Nothing.” Aaron replied. “Honest. Trust me on that.”

Call said nothing in response. But something in his eyes changed.

“You never really talk about Celia.” Aaron continued, keeping his voice quiet. “Do you… do you actually like her?”

Call blinked. Then he looked away, frustration clear as day on his face. It took him a few seconds, but then he looked back at Aaron. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I’m going out with her because she wanted to go out with me. It’s probably not the right thing to do. Probably something an evil overlord would do.”

Aaron’s heartbeat was going crazy now. “Look, no, it’s probably not the right thing to do, but you can figure out what to do when you’re back at school. It’ll be fine.”

Call didn’t respond to that. Instead, he said, “I miss being your counterweight. I even miss that stupid in-between thing we made.”

“Do you want to try it again?”

It probably wasn’t a good idea. It was probably a horrible idea. Aaron wasn’t sure why he suggested it. Maybe it was just an excuse so he could feel that close to Call again. He was about to take back the suggestion when Call nodded and put out his hand.

Aaron raised his hand to Call’s. “Okay. So I guess we have to concentrate, and then… it should probably work.”

It didn’t even take a whole lot of effort. They were both powerful enough that when they so much as began to put thought into it, everything around them changed. The tall plants behind Call turned from green to blue, and the sky turned from light blue to a dark pink. But Aaron didn’t want to break the connection, so he just kept looking into Call’s eyes.

“It worked.” Call said, amazed. He didn’t break the connection either, but Aaron could tell he was studying everything that he could. Then he finally concentrated only on Aaron again. “This is awesome.”

Aaron couldn’t speak because he knew that if he did he would say something that would reveal how he felt about Call. Something about this place lowered his inhibitions. Maybe that was the purpose of a world like this. To reveal those feelings, or anything hidden beneath the surface.

It was overwhelming, but Aaron couldn’t get enough of it. He stepped closer to Call, who didn’t move away. He just kept his eyes on Aaron, steady, but there was a challenge in them too. And at once, Aaron knew exactly what that challenge was and what he had to do.

He stepped closer again until there was barely any space between them. Call’s eyes widened now, but again, he didn’t step backward. It looked like he wanted to see what would happen, how far their lowered inhibitions would take them. Aaron bit his lower lip nervously, wetting it. It wouldn’t take much now. He just had to lower his head a little bit and not miss.

“You’re not going to?” Call asked, his voice dangerously quiet. He was fully looking at Aaron in that way now, the way Aaron had always hoped he would.

“I’m going to.” Aaron replied, his voice just as soft.

He kept his hand where it was, but curled his fingers around Call’s hand, gripping tightly. He didn’t want to let go ever. His pulse had skyrocketed by now. Call had parted his lips a little, waiting. He was impatient, but he was still waiting.

Aaron moved his face closer so that his mouth hovered right above Call’s. Call was breathing hard now in anticipation. Aaron kept his eyes on Call’s. Call’s had completely glazed over with want and need, something Aaron was sure Call had never experienced before with Celia.

 _Celia_. Her name almost snapped Aaron out of it. _Almost_. He hesitated a few seconds longer. He was always playing the good kid, the hero, the one who could do no wrong. For once he wanted something for himself, no matter how wrong or right it might have been. He wanted Call. He wanted to kiss Call. And Call wanted to kiss him too. In that moment it was so simple.

He closed the gap between their mouths then, kissing Call hard. With his free hand, he reached around Call’s back, putting his hand on the dress shirt that Tamara’s parents had given him. His other hand was entirely entangled with Call’s now, and Call was gripping it just as hard. Call kissed him back, and even though it was messy, it was perfect. Call was insistent, refusing to part for even a moment to get air. Aaron was perfectly happy to stay as close to Call as possible.

But then that nagging voice in the back of Aaron’s head started up again, the one that told him to be moral and good and to not be a jerk to people. It kept telling him, _Call’s dating Celia, Call’s dating Celia, Call’s dating Celia_.

Aaron stopped kissing Call. Call was still kissing him though, not completely aware that Aaron had snapped out of it. It wasn’t right, what they were doing. They couldn’t hurt Celia like this. So Aaron pulled away fully. They were no longer kissing at all, and Aaron had even wrenched his hand away from Call’s no matter how much he didn’t want to. They were left staring at each other, catching their breath.

“I… um…” Call started, but he seemed at a loss for words. His lips were a darker shade now, a little bruised from kissing so intensely.

“We can’t do that.” Aaron said, trying to keep calm. It hurt to say it. “We can’t hurt Celia.”

Call blinked, and a dark look passed over his features. But all he said was, “I have to go.”

“Call, wait.” Aaron took a step forward again. He didn’t want Call to just leave. They should talk about it.

“No. I have to go.” Call said. He turned and headed out of the garden. He couldn’t run, but he did escape as fast as he could. Aaron watched him leave, standing helplessly, unable to figure out how to fix any of this.

  
  


“Tamara, I need your help.” Aaron said the next day when he and Tamara were alone in her family’s sitting room. Call was somewhere with Havoc, and if he wasn’t with Havoc, he’d be somewhere else. Call was very clearly avoiding him.

Tamara saw the anguish on his face, and stopped her pre-school year studying immediately, crossing the room to sit next to him on the couch. “What is it?”

Aaron lowered his voice. “I… uh. Call and I kissed. Yesterday.”

She gasped. “Wait a minute. You and Call kissed and he’s still with Celia?”

“I _know_.” Aaron said, burying his face in his hands. “It was wrong to do it. But we practiced chaos magic together again, and it brought us to that in-between state. It… I wouldn’t say that’s what caused it, but it helped us along. I stopped it, so it wasn’t too long, but now Call won’t even look at me.”

Tamara reached out and took one of his hands in hers. “You know how Call is. Who knows what’s going on in his head half the time? But you do know that kissing him while he’s dating Celia is wrong, don’t you? You can’t do that again. Not even if he’s meant to be with you, not her. It’s dishonest.”

“I know that.” Aaron told her. “She’s our friend. And I’m not going to let it happen again, not while they’re going out. It’s just hard, you know? How am I going to be able to look Celia in the face? How am I going to be able to look at the both of them together? I know it’s not all about me, but…”

“Let something be about you for once.” Tamara said soothingly. “After everything you’ve done for everyone else, you deserve that.”

Aaron wasn’t so sure, but he let the words sink in as Tamara hugged him. 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Everything was a mess. Aaron did not like things being this awkward, but he supposed he couldn’t fault anyone else for it. He and Cal had been in some sort of trance when they’d kissed, but they both remembered it. Aaron also didn’t like that Call refused to look at him for weeks following the kiss. When they were studying, or with Master Rufus, Call would look the other way. He paired up someone else for everything, leaving Aaron to stare after him.

Call also avoided Aaron during meals, continuing to sit with Celia. Aaron supposed that he could have just joined them, but if Call needed his space, fine. Instead, Aaron paired up with Tamara for everything.

Call also made a point to never be in the common room when Aaron was there. If Call was there when Aaron walked in, Call would leave.

But it really grated on him. He didn’t feel up to working on his Makar abilities, and much to Master Rufus’s surprise he started messing up every time he tried anything. Tamara would look sorry for him, and Master Rufus would look absolutely shocked.

“What’s gotten into you, Aaron?” Master Rufus asked one day. Aaron had just failed at even attempting to start chaos magic. He honestly just felt like moping because he had seen Call and Celia walking earlier, hand-in-hand. Celia had waved to him, unsuspecting, but Call had stared at him. Aaron had stared back, willing his crush on Call to disappear in that moment. It hadn’t.

“Nothing. I’m just not good at this anymore.” Aaron looked away.

“That makes no sense,” Rufus replied. He looked at Tamara, who stood next to Aaron. “You’re certainly doing your job. So why is that Aaron and Callum are both not doing well at this lately? It’s imperative that we discover the reason so that we can fix it.”

Aaron stood frozen in place. Call was having trouble with magic, like he was? He and Tamara looked at each other with surprise. It also surprised Aaron that Tamara was as surprised as she was. Maybe Call hadn’t let her in on it either. He was probably embarrassed, knowing him, because he wasn’t exactly a prodigy in the first place. Still, they were supposed to be different with each other. The three of them hadn’t been acting much like an apprentice group should lately.

“We’ll talk to him, Master Rufus.” Tamara assured their teacher, giving Aaron a very significant look. “Right?”

Aaron nodded, but his stomach hurt. “Right.”

  
  
  


Talking to Call was easier said than done. That night, Tamara and Aaron waited in the common room for Call to get back from studying with Celia. When he returned to the room, Aaron and Tamara immediately jumped up from where they were sitting.

“Call, we need to talk to you.” Tamara said, trying not to sound like it was an emergency. “We both do.”   
  
“I’m tired.” Call said, walking past her. “Maybe tomorrow.”

Before she or Aaron could say anything else, Call opened the door to his room. Aaron got a quick look of Havoc before the door slammed shut behind him.

Tamara tried to comfort Aaron by putting a hand on his arm, but Aaron just shook his head and went into his own room.

  
  
  


They were a few months into the school year when it all came to a head. Aaron was walking back to his room when he heard Call and Celia talking. More like… arguing. They were just around the corner, which Aaron realized immediately. And he stopped, curious.

“I just want to know why it’s not working.” Celia insisted. “It must be something I’m doing.”

“You’re not doing anything!” Call exclaimed, exasperated. There was a pause. Then he said, “Look, Celia, you know I’m not good at this stuff. That’s the reason, okay? That’s it. I suck at it. I’m a disaster. Jasper could tell you that.”

Call still thought he was a disaster. Aaron hated that. He hated it.

“You used to be good at it, according to Master Rufus.” Celia said. “When you and Aaron were each other’s counterweights.”

Aaron closed his eyes.

“Yeah, well, we’re not anymore. We can’t be. Master Rufus told us we couldn’t, and… well, trust me, it’s dangerous.”

Aaron shook his head. Yeah, it could be dangerous. But he had a feeling that Call meant that the in-between world they’d been in had forced Call to admit his real feelings. For Call, that could be dangerous. Especially if he was confused.

“But if it doesn’t work…”

“Celia,” Call began. Aaron could tell he was trying to sound calm. “Trust me. It’s better this way.”

“Why don’t you even talk to him, though? I never see you talk to him.”

“I talk to him.” Call lied.

Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Tamara said you don’t. Did he do something, or…”

That was, of course, when Jasper came up behind Aaron and said loudly, “Hey, Aaron, how’s it going?”

Aaron turned around slowly to see Jasper. He was smirking because he liked to do that. Aaron tried to smile at him. “Great!” he responded, a little too brightly. “What’s up?”

He glanced back. Celia and Call had come around the corner. Call was wide-eyed. Not angry, just surprised. But as soon as their eyes met, they were locked. Aaron forgot that Jasper was talking to him. He forgot Celia was standing next to Call. It had been months, but he didn’t care. And he wasn’t in a trance, but that was fine. Call was just standing there, the wonderful, fascinating mess he always had been, and god, the things Aaron wanted to do with him. To him. And Call wasn’t looking away. He felt it, too. Aaron knew he did.

“Oooookay....” Jasper said, finally distracting Aaron. “You two having a staring contest or what?”

“They’re not having a staring contest.” Celia said quietly, looking between them. Call had looked away too, and now his attention was on Celia. But not in the way it had been. No… he looked guilty. “Call, I think we need to go talk. Somewhere else.”

He frowned, and then, finally, dared another look at Aaron. It was quick, but Aaron caught his gaze for just a moment. It was telling enough that Aaron knew, he absolutely knew, that Celia had started to understand. Call glanced back at Celia then. “Yeah. Okay. Sure.” He sounded nervous, but there was really no escaping it, not this time.

When they were gone, Jasper, surprisingly didn’t say anything. He just stared at Aaron with his eyebrows raised, and Aaron wondered if he’d started to suspect, too.

  
  


Aaron was back in his room just a few minutes before there was a knock on his door. He tried to ignore his racing heart as he walked over to it. Call stood there, looking strange. He seemed lost, but also found. He looked like he wanted to run away, but also stand there forever. His lips were pressed into a line as his eyes met Aaron’s tentatively.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked immediately. “What happened?” He moved aside for Call to come in, which he did, shutting the door behind him.

“I like what you’ve done with the place.” Call said, instead of answering the question. He looked around the room, pretending there was anything to see at all. Aaron didn’t have many belongings of his own, so the room was pretty bare, actually. He had some clothes thrown about, though. Maybe that was what Call meant.

“Well, now you’ve seen it.” Aaron replied. Then he asked, “What did Celia say?”

Call flinched. “I… don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why did you even come here if you don’t want to talk about it?” Aaron demanded.

Call frowned. “I don’t know, okay? I wanted to see you. I can see now that I made a mistake.”

He started toward the door, but as he brushed past Aaron, Aaron reached out and caught Call’s wrist with his hand. Call looked from the door to Aaron slowly, irritated, his brows still furrowed. It was like he was studying Aaron, staring at him intensely. Aaron stared back because he was annoyed, but also because he loved Call’s face. He didn’t want to admit it right now, but he really, really did.

Call let out a deep breath that Aaron hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and then jerked his hand up, Aaron’s hand still around his wrist.

It was then that Aaron realized they were going to kiss again. And that he wasn’t going to be the one to start it.

In a quick motion, probably smoother than anything Call had ever done in his life, he pushed Aaron’s shoulder with his free hand and backed Aaron up until he was against the door. There was only a beat before Call had brought his mouth to Aaron’s in a rush of heat.

Aaron gave in to the feeling of it, of Call kissing him intensely. Aaron kissed back just as hard, as if they could be separated at any moment. That was all anyone wanted to do lately, and it was up to them to prevent it from happening. Apparently they were trying to prevent it by kissing.

Call’s body was against his too, and Aaron wasn’t sure if that was helping his situation or not. The guy wasn’t just cute anymore. He still wasn’t athletic the way Aaron was, but Call had definitely filled out over the past year or so. They were growing up, and Aaron could feel it happening both times they were drawn together like this. He sighed against Call’s mouth before letting go of his wrist so that he could grab the front of Call’s shirt. No matter how close Call was, he needed Call to be closer.

He stopped the kiss, but didn’t move away. Instead, he moved his mouth down to Call’s neck, a trick he’d once read about in a magazine that had been laying around at his foster home. He’d been too young to know what it meant, but it made sense now, to kiss Call’s skin, to taste it. Call sucked in a breath and let out some sort of wild sound - one Aaron wanted to hear more of.

Aaron wanted a lot more than this. He realized it while hearing Call’s gasps. But he’d already crossed more of a line than he’d ever meant to, so he eased away from Call a moment later. Call’s face was flushed a deep red. He looked like he wanted more, but he could obviously see that Aaron had stepped away for a reason.

Call crossed his arms, suddenly self-conscious. “So. Good talk?”

“Call,” Aaron replied pleadingly. “What did Celia say?”

“Something about us having more electricity when we look at each other than whenever I look at her.” Call admitted, still red. “And that I haven’t been truthful - to anyone. She’s right, though. I promised Tamara I wouldn’t lie to you or her ever again and that’s all I’ve been doing.” He met Aaron’s eyes again. “I’ve been confused since I started officially going out with Celia. I missed you, even though I’d just seen you. I mean, I missed Tamara too, and for awhile I thought I liked _her_ , but it’s different. Because you still get me in a way that no one else does, even her. And it scared me because I’ve always been, you know… that kid. The weird one. The kid who couldn’t run, who wasn’t exactly likeable. The kid whose dad told him that being a mage was a death sentence. I thought I had a shot at being normal going out with Celia. And I thought I could manage it better if I didn’t talk to you much-”

“At all.” Aaron interrupted softly.

“At all,” Call amended, nodding. “But I live for the moments we help each other escape from the clutches of the older mages, when we help each other with Makar stuff, or even when we’re just talking. You can calm me down when I need it, and all you do is care. You could have anyone you wanted, probably. Like… how can someone like you like someone like me? I’m just… this.” He gestured to himself with one hand.

“Just what? Someone who’s making a big, romantic speech right now?” Aaron teased, stepping closer.

“Shut up,” Call replied. “I am not.”

“You are.” Aaron said, smiling. “I get the feeling that you think I’m perfect. Someone who’s perfect wouldn’t have kissed you when they knew you were going out with Celia, no matter how much they wanted to. Jealousy wouldn’t have been eating away at them for the past two years. But that’s all part of me too. I try to make up for a lot, and I try to seem like the opposite of a kid whose dad is in jail. Neither of us are perfect, Call.”

Call nodded, and then stepped forward. “We should kiss again… just to, you know, make sure of everything.”

“Oh, yeah. We can’t do all this without making sure.” Aaron replied, grinning. Now that Call wasn’t scared of who he was, of what he felt, he was so brave about this. Call looked determined right now, and it made him cuter.

This time, neither of them was the first to start the kiss. They met in the middle. And the moment they started, Aaron couldn’t get enough. He brought Call closer to him, and Call happily complied, his arms and hands experimentally going everywhere. He settled for one arm around Aaron’s waist and his other hand through Aaron’s hair. Jeez, the feeling of Call’s hand in his hair was just… it was just…

Call kissed him harder, clearly unwilling to let go any time soon. Someday, Aaron thought, it would be more than just kissing. Not today, but someday. But right now what he wanted was Call’s mouth against his, his own hands making their way under the shirt of Call’s uniform. Call paused for only a moment when he felt Aaron’s hands on his skin, but then resumed kissing him back.

It was only by chance that Aaron opened his eyes. Behind Call was a dark green mist. Aaron knew immediately that they’d gone to the in-between. Reluctantly, he pulled away from Call. Not his hands, just his mouth. Though their mouths still were close when he whispered, “We’re in the in-between.”

Call’s eyes opened immediately, and he looked around. As Call looked around, Aaron did too. He realized something weird, though. He didn’t feel very different this time. Before, being here had lowered their inhibitions enough that they’d admit they liked each other. Maybe now that they’d admitted it in their own world, they were just…. here.

“Maybe if we break the connection?” Call asked. Aaron nodded.

They disentangled from each other, and still, they were in the in-between.

They tried casting little spells that they thought might work, and still, they were in the in-between.

They tried everything they could to snap themselves out of it, to no avail.

Their eyes met again. It was very possible that they were stuck this time. 


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Tamara had heard what happened, she started looking everywhere for Call and Aaron. Celia had told her that she’d walked away from Call about an hour ago, and that he’d said he had to go talk to Aaron, probably in his room. 

There was no one in their common room when she got there. She knocked on Call’s door and peeked in. Havoc was there, curled up on Call’s bed. She had to smile at him. Havoc was a ferocious beast, but he also loved to pretend he was smaller than he was. He lived his head when she opened Call’s door and got excited, jumping out of bed and running over to her.

“You haven’t seen your ridiculous human, have you?” Tamara asked Havoc fondly, and even though Havoc couldn’t really answer, he paused when she asked. Then he looked in the direction of Aaron’s room and let out a whine.

Tamara walked toward Aaron’s room with Havoc trailing behind her. She knocked first, and then she slowly, slowly, slowly opened the door. With her eyes half covered with her hand. Just in case they were in there and weren’t wearing any clothes.

It turned out not to matter, because they weren’t there. There were no clothes on the floor that probably hadn’t been there before, and no sign that either of them had even been there. There was a chance they were just somewhere else in the Magisterium, that she should ask everyone if they’d seen her friends. But somehow she didn’t think that was the case. Somehow she was sure that Call and Aaron had disappeared. Probably to that weird other world that Aaron had described to her. 

Tamara turned to Havoc. “Alright. I’m taking you for a walk, and we’re going to get Master Rufus. Sound good?”

Havoc wagged his tail excitedly.

 

 

Master Rufus stared at her for a good minute after she explained. Then he shook his head and sighed. “I thought I’d made it clear to those boys that they weren’t to practice Makar abilities together.”

“And they haven’t for months.” Tamara told him. “And do we even know if that’s what’s happening now? They could have left the Magisterium, or been abducted by Master Joseph, or-” 

“But you don’t think so.” Master Rufus interrupted her. He looked at her expectantly.

“No, I don’t think so.” Tamara confirmed. “I think they did practice it, or something, because usually I can find at least one of them hanging out in the common room or the library.” 

“Just to be safe, we’ll conduct a search.” Master Rufus said. “I will talk to all of the other Masters, and you talk to the other students and get the word out. We need to make absolutely sure that they’re not in this world before we panic.” 

Tamara nodded, and fought the urge to argue with him. She was sure that Call and Aaron were gone, and that they needed to figure out how to get to them now. She stood and turned, leaving Master Rufus to do whatever he thought was best. First, she dropped Havoc off in Call’s room. Then she headed to find some help. The other students were eating right now, so that’s how she found Jasper and Celia, sitting together. Celia looked kind of sad, but she masked it well. Jasper ate his lichen, probably with no idea what was going on.

She approached them and sat down at their table. “Aaron and Call are missing.”

Celia looked up at her. “I don’t really want to talk about Call right now, Tamara.”

“I’m serious, Celia. He’s missing. So’s Aaron. They’re probably not even in this world. They’ve done this before, but it’s the longest they’ve probably ever been gone.”

Celia sighed. “They probably just want their privacy.”

“Wait, what?” Jasper asked, his head snapping up also. “What does that mean?” When Celia didn’t answer, Jasper looked toward Tamara. Tamara stared at him blankly, but between her and Celia’s weird silence, realization spread over Jasper’s face. He always tried to be cool about things, or at least snarky, but this legitimately caught him by surprise. “Wait, you’re serious?” he asked. “Call and Aaron?!” 

“Jasper.” Tamara said, warning him. “Lower your voice.” It was for Celia’s sake as well as Call and Aaron’s. Celia’s boyfriend had just left her for a guy, and while she would get over it in time, kids could be cruel. She didn’t want Celia to face that humiliation. At some point, Call and Aaron would probably reveal their relationship to everyone, but that didn’t need to happen just yet. 

“It’s just weird.” Jasper said, this time more quietly. “How Call managed to get Aaron under his spell, I just don’t know. I mean, it’s Call.”

“He managed it with me,” Celia countered, frowning at him.

“Besides, you’ve probably secretly liked Call all this time too.” Tamara said, squinting at him suspiciously. “Seems like everyone has but me.”

Instantly, Jasper blushed. “God, no way. Why would I ever…? No.”

Tamara had only been joking. But apparently she hadn’t been wrong. Jasper was flushed, looking back and forth between her and Celia. Tamara immediately felt bad about it. “Sorry, I didn’t know, Jasper.”   
  
“Neither did I.” Celia said quietly. She put her hand over Jasper’s. “Sorry I flaunted it all the time.”

“Okay, can we not?” Jasper said, sounding annoyed. “It’s fine. It’s nothing. I knew I never had a shot with him, so why bother? Plus it’s Call. I’d rather eat my own hand than actually go out with him. He’s a little cute, that’s all. Don’t ever tell him I said that. Let’s move on.” 

Tamara didn’t quite buy that, but she nodded. “Right. So I don’t know if there’s a way to actually get them back. They can create this… thing... when they’re together, some sort of other world. It’s connected to them using chaos magic at the same time. I think that’s where they are.”

“Then why are you here?” Jasper asked. He didn’t snap at her about it. Just sounded curious now.

“We need to keep an eye out for them. Also, we’re three of the smartest people in this school. We should at least try to think of something.”  

They all exchanged glances. Tamara knew that it was probably hopeless, but they needed to try.

 

o O o O o O o O o

 

“We’ve never been here this long before.” Aaron said, staring behind Call at the swirling colors. They seemed to be staying where they were, but they still seemed ominous. Call took a deep breath and breathed out, clearly trying to calm himself down. Aaron reached out and took his hand. Call had been looking at the ground, but looked up at Aaron now. Aaron smiled at him encouragingly. “It’s fine, Call. Just breathe.”

He expected Call to say something sarcastic back immediately, but instead his eyes softened a little and he continued to try and calm down. He squeezed Aaron’s hand tighter. 

It was way too soon to say he loved Call, but Aaron knew that he did. It had been building up since they were twelve, and seeing Call now, being with him like this, made him realize it for sure. He really was in love with Call.

“This is crazy.” Call muttered. “We’re being kept here, aren’t we?”

“I have no idea.” Aaron replied. 

“Who even knows how time passes here? It’s been awhile. A year could have passed in the real world. What about Tamara? What does she think? What about my dog? What did they tell my dad? What-”

“Call,” Aaron interrupted. “Hey, it’s okay. I think time passes normally in both worlds. Each time we came here, it did. Remember?”

Call breathed in and out. Then he looked at Aaron. “You’re being pretty cool about this. How are you so calm?”

“We’re here together. I’d panic if I was alone, trust me.” Aaron told him. He leaned forward a little and kissed Call. It was a quick, gentle kiss this time. All of their other kisses had been huge, life-changing ones, but this? This was another way he could reassure Call things would be fine.

Call reached forward and gripped Aaron’s sleeve with the hand that Aaron wasn’t holding. He was clearly terrified, but now there was something defiant in his eyes. “You’re right. You’re a Makar and I’m a Makar, and even though I’m not the greatest mage ever, we’re both here. If anyone can survive this, we can. And, well, Tamara could. But we can too.”

“Callum Hunt. I have you at last.”

Aaron and Call both turned toward the voice, and… what the hell? It was Constantine Madden’s head. The one that Call had brought back to school with him during their copper year. Except this head was animated. The eyes were open, and the Enemy’s mouth was twisted into some sort of terrible grin.

“You’re dead!” Call gasped. He moved to face the floating head as quickly as possible. Aaron followed him, standing at attention, waiting just in case he needed to use chaos magic. “Who are you!?”

The head smirked, and then amazingly, rolled its eyes. It came closer and closer to them. Aaron started to feel a little sick, trying not to look at the part where the head had been severed. But the head ignored him and moved in front of Call. Soon it was close enough to Call that they could kiss. Aaron grabbed Call’s arm and started to tug him backwards. But Call was captivated by something in Constantine’s eyes. 

“How can I be dead, Callum,” Constantine’s mouth asked, smirking, “if I’m you?”


End file.
